I want to want to run for hours at a time again. I look at half marathon times and can’t remember the last time I ran over an hour. Heck, an hour and half sounds nice. Of course that doesn’t go well when you don’t run. Instead I’m excited when I hold a sub 10 minute pace on a four mile run. I could blame the never ending winter. I could blame the rain. I shouldn’t blame any of it. It’s not that I’m not running. It’s that I’m barely running. I’m completely apathetic about it. Eh, a run. Sleep is so much better. Being warm is so much better. I am not running the Wisconsin Half, which would be flat out stupid. I thought I would be sad. I’m not. I think I’ll volunteer and cheer for my friends. I already have the time schedule away. Maybe it will motivate me to get off my ass and run more often. I need it to not feel like a chore.
Ragnar is something like seven weeks away and I will not be horribly out of shape for it. That is decided. And the excitement is starting. We have a full team again. It’s been crazy, kind of like the first year, with people dropping and adding, but I think we have ended up with a good team. Over half of us have done multiple Ragnars. While I desperately want it to get warmer I really, really don’t want it to be a thousand degrees for Ragnar again. I just couldn’t handle it. That was miserable and flat out unsafe. I’m just glad that the excitement is building. I know it will be fun no matter what. I know it will be another adventure. I know there will be something that annoys the hell out of me and I will forget about it a month later. I know I will be tired. I know I will recover.
Also, I wish I were still on vacation where it was warm.
I listen to Mike & Mike on ESPN radio most mornings. I turned it on like any other morning this morning. What was different, and surprised me, was that they were discussing the Boston Marathon and the tragedy of yesterday. I was expecting to listen to dribble about NBA, MLB, or NHL, three sports I don’t give a crap about. Instead I almost started crying again. They had a really good dialogue on the events of yesterday while I was listening.
This hit way too close to home for me as it has for most runners. I spent all of yesterday afternoon trying to not to burst into tears at my desk. When I received a text from my friend that she and her fiance were fine and had left the finish line before any of this took place I felt like I could breathe again, just for a moment. I spent the rest of the afternoon with a lump in my throat. I felt sick. I didn’t, and still don’t, know how to wrap my head around all of this.
Running and runners are a huge part of my life. This is a community I am proud to be a part of. The selfless acts of yesterday, by not only the running community, but the city of Boston, leaves me at a loss for words. The human kindness that comes out of these tragic events is amazing.
We all react to things differently and we all deal with tragedy in our own ways. I had to sign off of social media last night. I couldn’t keep reading it all.
I am eternally grateful that all the people I know who were in Boston yesterday are okay. I am horribly saddened that a happy day was marred with this tragedy.
But we, sadly, live in a world where these things happen. And how we react and respond matters. As I was reading things yesterday about things people wanted to do to in solidarity with the city of Boston I quickly had to remind myself of all of this. It’s not stupid just because it’s not something I would do. Let people react and act in a way that works for them.
Our never ending winter is getting to me. Actually it’s getting to everyone. It sucks. It is April and feels like February. Mother Nature teases us with one or two nice days and then it’s disgusting and freezing again. I actually woke up the other morning due to the wind and rain and thought my house was going to blow away. It makes me not want to do anything. And it’s not like I wasn’t already having motivational issues. I like my couch, a lot. It’s comfy and warm when I have my down blanket. I’m sick of running in seven layers when I can actually run outside.
I finally broke down and joined a gym again. And then promptly remembered I hate the treadmill. I did run a measly three miles on it. I guess it’s better than nothing. Still not highly motivated to run though. And I do have a half marathon in a month. That will be interesting.
Things I am enjoying:
Seeing friends I haven’t seen in a long time
Planning adventures with friends
Running with Sara again
Snuggling on my couch
Knowing it has to get warmer eventually and if it doesn’t I will be in DC next month where Spring actually exists.
Planning for year three of Ragnar
Nashville, the TV show, not the city. I’ve never been to the city