Day by Day

I didn’t want this to become my cancer blog, but that is my life right now and I know after letting everyone know what is going on there are a lot of questions. I still can’t get over the wonderful, supportive, outpouring of support I have received. Thank you so much to everyone.

To fill people in a bit more I am willing to answer questions and give more information than I did in my initial post. I may not be willing to answer all of them but I’ll try.

Every day really is different. Some days I feel great, almost normal, other days I am stuck on the couch and barely move.

In August I went to see my primary care doctor about some pretty non-descript symptoms, basically being a woman. She took what I had to say seriously and ordered ultrasounds right away. I ended up meeting a gynecologic oncologist a week later and immediately had surgery scheduled. We thought it was a possibly malignant ovarian cyst. My appendix and ovaries were removed during the initial surgery.  There was so much disease on my ovaries no fertility could be saved. It was when I woke up from surgery I first heard the words”we found cancer”. I had no idea how to respond. It took me a while to go from “they found cancer” to “I have cancer”. Those words are really different and I had to get there on my own.

Because I’m young and in good health (other than cancer) they started chemo only 4 weeks after surgery. I was able to go to New York for a friend’s wedding and to meet my wonderful niece at just 3.5 weeks post surgery. I had three doctors sign off on it. As soon as we got back after Labor Day I had a port put in and started chemo. I really had no idea what to expect. Chemo days are a lot of waiting around and a lot of sitting around. They start with labs, which always take forever and I don’t even understand why they take appointments. I then meet with my medical oncologist and the PA. These are wonderful people who listen to me and talk to me, not at me. After that, I have to go check in to the Day Hospital where they don’t even mix your chemo until you check in so more waiting. We learned really quick to bring our own food as the “Bistro” in the Cancer Center makes horrible food. Once they finally call me back I get pre-drugs and then a 2-hour chemo drip. I then get another drug and finally they connect me to a pump that I am stuck with for 46 hours for a slow dose drug. There are days I spend more time at the Cancer Center than I would at my desk. Chemo happens every two weeks so I do get time off from it all. My side effects have mostly been fatigue and neuropathy in my hands and throat. I’m getting pretty used to drinking room temperature water and hot beverages.

I’ve now been through 7 rounds of chemo. They changed the drug mix after 5. I do not like the new drug as it makes me a lot more tired and non-functional. I thankfully work with some of the best people ever and am able to work from home as needed. I don’t know what I would do without my team that is covering all kinds of things for me.  I don’t even know how to thank them. I have one more round of chemo scheduled on December 15th and I am oh so hopeful that is it and I get a break for the holidays.

I have started losing my hair which I’m not handling well. I was told I wouldn’t and I’ve never had thin hair in my life. I hate this so much. I want my hair back. I want my curls back.

As I said before this is really a day by day thing. I never know how I’m going to feel and while trying to hold on to as normal of a life as I can I make mostly tentative plans. Thankfully my friends are amazing and never question anything. They have driven me all over, taken me to brunch, taken me to the doctor. I am in awe of how wonderful you have all been and how supportive you are. Thank you.

Today is a rough day so I’m on my couch, but who knows what tomorrow brings.

2 thoughts on “Day by Day

  1. Renee, it takes an inner courage to deal with the unknown. You many friends that care for you. Do not be afraid to ask for help when it is needed, it is a way for those who care for you to assist

  2. Renee as you take it day by day, we are here for you day by day and will alter our days right along with you.

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