When I was diagnosed in August my mom said this was going to be the fight of my life and I never really felt that until now. I have this huge, invasive surgery in a few days. I have read lots on it. I have listened to my doctors; all of them. I think I have now been signed off by something like 5 doctors to have this surgery (all of them think I’m healthy enough). This surgery is going to be a fight, but I firmly believe my body can handle this and that they will get everything. This does not mean I’m not terrified for this surgery. There are a lot of possible side effects, some very scary. I believe that my age and overall good health will help me. I believe in my medical team. I believe I will run again. I believe I will be cancer free. I believe in my own body.
I had the best week and weekend with friends. It was just what I needed. My friends don’t treat me different. While my huge surgery is on all of our minds it doesn’t take over. I still can’t get over how amazing my friends have been. You really learn a lot about people when going through something terrible and the people I have surrounded myself with are the best people I could imagine having with me. Planning to fill my social calendar was the best idea. It has been wonderful to see everyone. And it’s not just local friends; the calls and cards and messages from across the country and world mean the world to me. The biggest positive to come out of all of this has been reconnecting with people. I know I keep reiterating a lot of this, but “Thank you” doesn’t seem to feel like enough. Just know I’ll never forget all the people there for me.
While I greatly appreciate the boxes of goodies from everyone please do not send any more coloring books. I have more than enough from everyone who has sent them this fall and winter. I also don’t need more socks. We will probably need meals at some point, but are not doing a meal train again.
For those of you who are interested in more information on appendix cancer I have found a good resource from the ACPMP – Appendix Cancer / Pseudomyxoma Peritonei Research Foundation.
As I head in for the fight of my life later this week just know I know you are all there with me. Thank you. And so much more.