An update, kind of

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Where I’d rather be

I know there has been a lot of radio silence from me. I’m still in the hospital and basically feel like I live here. It’s horribly frustrating. I want to be at home. I want to feel better. Basically there is something wrong with me, but the doctors don’t know what. There is a huge, extended team working on it. Some days I just don’t want to talk to anyone. It’s not personal if I’m not responding to you. Some days I don’t want visitors. Some days I do.

It’s so many ups and downs. It’s exhausting. It’s never ending.

My doctor reminds me that I had a huge surgery and I need to be patient with myself, but that’s easier said than done.

I still appreciate all of you out there sending your positive thoughts, prayers, cards and everything else. Thank you.

Home

I came home on Thursday February 2nd. I was so excited to get out of the hospital and the hospital bed. I got to come home to my kitties who were so happy to see me. We took a nap together the first afternoon. I no longer had someone checking my vitals every few hours. I had my own couch and bed. I had little freedoms I did the get in the hospital. My parents and aunt were there for anything and everything that I needed. 

Then Monday morning I had to come in fora clinic visit and got readmitted to the hospital. I only got 3.5 days at home. I can’t even express how little I wanted to be admitted. It was a for a combination of things and it was the right decision but I didn’t like it. I am on the upswing and hopefully get to go home Friday. I had some fluid in my lungs, along with other things, so am working with a respiratory therapist. 

It’s very frustrating to have ended back up back in the hospital even if it is necessary and not totally unexpected. I want to be home. I want to be feeling better. I want to be making more progress. If ever there was a time to practice patience it is certainly now. At least eating is getting a bit better. I’m actually feeling hunger again. I’m not eating normally yet but the dietician is happy with where I’m at.

So it is still baby steps and constant reminders what an invasive surgery I had, but I am happy with any progress right now and can’t wait to be home again.