I’m home! For real this time.

I’ve been home for a week now. There is really nothing quite like home after being in the hospital for 5 weeks. I was initially told my stay would be 8-10 days. My first stay was 13. Then I was home 3 days and back in for a week and then home for less than 24 hours and back in for two weeks. To say I’m happy to be home would be an understatement. I have a bit more freedom. No one is waking me up several times a night. I have my kitties, who will not leave my side. It almost gets a bit suffocating at times.

I don’t know what I initially expected. I listened to the doctor, but this was so much worse. I keep having to remind myself that my body went through a 12 hour surgery and needs time to recover. I came home on IV antibiotics for whatever infection I managed to catch. It’s not so bad, but I can’t wait for it to be over. One of the meds I have to get three times a day.

I’m supposed to be in Italy right now showering my niece wp-1488726732795.jpgin love and spending time with my brother and sister-in-law, but that obviously couldn’t happen. The Delta app mocked me on Friday and kept reminding me to check in my for my cancelled flights. Thankfully I was smart enough to buy travel insurance when I bought this ticket way back in November. There’s really nothing more I want right now than a hug from my brother and I don’t know when I get to see him again. I don’t know when I can go visit. I don’t know when they might come back to Wisconsin.

On Saturday I went and got a pedicure with my mom and omg did it feel good to do something normal. Except as we were sitting there I was staring at my legs and starting lamenting all the muscle I have lost. I worked so hard to get strong in the year and half before all this started. I miss my strength. I miss being able to be self sufficient. I miss the old me.

I know I’m making progress, but it feels so slow. I want to be able to do more. At least I’m starting to notice improvements without my parents having to point them out. On that note, my parents have been nothing short of amazing. They basically put their lives on hold and have been there every step and misstep I’ve made. I will never be able to thank them enough for that.

All in all, I think I’m doing pretty well right now. I am walking more and it’s not quite as difficult. I am socializing again and that is wonderful. I’m up for visitors. As long as everything stays on track I’m taking a little getaway to warm weather before I go back to work thanks to Southwest points and family that lives in a warmer climate.

 

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6 thoughts on “I’m home! For real this time.

  1. You are beautiful Renee. That is what I want to say. ❣ Love, Diana – watching and listening from afar.

  2. Thank you for sharing. I am so happy to hear you are home and doing better day by day. As they say, we cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails. And you a re blessed with such a wonderful family. I look forward to seeing you soon! ~Jennifer Foley

  3. Renee, as a survivor I have so much empathy. As a mama I have so much love. And as a woman I have so much pride in your strength and your clarity. Be well. We are out here, sending love and healing prayers.

  4. Renee, I just caught up on a bunch of your posts. Wow. You have been through so much! I also followed the link about your type of cancer and read a bit about it. How lucky you are to have been diagnosed and are being treated. I truly hope you heal as quickly as possible. And may you have the patience to accept your body as it heals. Our bodies really do want to heal.

    You seem to have the right attitude and I believe that goes a long way. My brother battled a rare bone cancer years ago, and his attitude really helped him through it. It’s also altered his perception on life, for the better. I hope that you too can continue to find the good in all of this struggle.

  5. Hi Renee,
    While we don’t know each other personally, I’ve had the pleasure of reading your story via social media through a previous work relationship, and now kinship with your amazing dad.
    You see, he and I now have something in common, certainly not the easiest to endure, but we both are as close to cancer as one one can be without being afflicted ourselves. My husband Jason, is something of an enigma. One of only about 100 people known worldwide with an exceedingly rare congenital condition that unfortunately predisposes him to a bevy of potential health concerns, most notably cancer of the head, neck, GI, lung… and well, let’s just say it’s caught us, on the first go round relatively expectedly while this latest bout literally felt like the rug had been yanked from beneath our feet.
    While both instances have tested our resolve, our faith, our endurance, what has never waivered is our reliance on each other. I’ve learned and come to terms with the fact that even though we’ve been dealt a lousy hand, we have the power to overcome because we have love, support and generosity surrounding us every single day. Life is a beautiful thing, in any capacity, so, as I remind my hubs likely more frequently than desired; don’t sweat the small stuff, be thankful for wins even if they’re minuscule and most importantly, be present in all things. It’s all good because you’re here.

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