Goals and thoughts. So many thoughts. One goal: run and finish my 24th half marathon. (Yes, I went back and counted.)
I have mentally gotten myself to a place where I am okay with the fact that this will be my slowest half ever. It is what it is. I have had a million thoughts of what I should have done, but I didn’t. Getting back to running didn’t come easy to me, at all. In fact it was horribly difficult. This wasn’t a month or two or four off for an orthopedic injury while I was still doing some sort of exercise. This was literally starting from zero. I had no muscle, no strength, nothing. It was a lot harder than I imagined it would be, both physically and mentally.
I ran the Door County Half in 2016 with my running besties (pictured above). It didn’t exactly go to plan, but it turns out I had something like 10lbs of tumors inside of me. So F you body. I still ran a 2 hour half marathon. I was diagnosed 3 months after this race. While I didn’t make it back in 2017 to run, I did go and tailgate a half marathon. You think I joke, I do not. I had the best spectator buddy ever.
What do I expect out of this half marathon? It’s going to be hard. I’m going to struggle, but I will finish. I will probably cry. But most of all I will prove to myself that cancer did not take running from me. I get to do a normal thing. I get to go up to Door County with some good friends, go for a run, eat some kiss ass pizza from Wild Tomato and drink some delicious beer from Door County Brewing Company.
Oh, and get video taped finishing the race. What you say? I have chosen to share my story with my work/treatment facility. They are doing a really nice job putting stories together which you can see at knowledge changing life. They will be interviewing me and my doctors later in May. I have no idea when the video will come out, but don’t worry, I will share it all over the internet. I chose to do this because no one knows what appendix cancer is and people don’t realize what HIPEC surgery is and I’ve gone through an insane 18 months.
So anyone out there who found this blog by searching appendix cancer, know that I am 15.5 months out from HIPEC surgery and I’m running a half marathon. There are dark and scary times, very dark and scary times, but life goes on. I found my post from a year ago when I got my first clean scans and remembered that my doctor told me to live my life. I thought that was going to be harder than it was.